The existence of life depends on many things. And as past extinctions on Earth have taught us, when one species is snuffed out, the opportunity arises for another to be snuffed in. It’s all relative—one entity’s bad luck is something else’s good luck, because as the aphorism goes, every time God shuts a cellar, he opens a porthole and one of those slatted attic vents from ’80s movies …
One of the primary deciders of existence is the type of star that a planet, or the equivalent of an out-of-gas space-Winnebago, finds itself orbiting. Our Sun is currently a main sequence star , meaning it’s stable, has plenty of hydrogen to fuse, and harbors only the faintest inkling of melting us all into a calcium-rich goop with its radioactive flares.
It’ll spend 80% of its 10 billion-year lifespan this way, happily clocking in every morning with its vintage metal lunch box of bologna and Schlitz. But since Sol is already 4.5-billion-years-old, it will become 10% brighter and start boiling our oceans in about a billion years. Our star has already “burned” off the equivalent of Saturn from its mass, making it the ultimate before-and-after-picture contender in early morning infomercials for the newest SlimFast (now with shellac!) or vibrating ass-belts that promise a toned pelvic floor. Kelvinsong/Wikimedia Commons “Get summer-shredded abs with this one trick they don’t want you to know about!!” The Sun loses its weight a bit at a time, turning four hydrogens into one helium. By squeezing four grams of hydrogen into helium, less than 1% of that becomes energy. But that’s still enough to power a lightbulb for 100 years. And four grams is a trifling amount; decent for a Backwoods, but underwhelming for a B Legit .
No compatible source was found for this media. Apollo 12 Astronauts Had Porn Hidden in Their Spacesuits Toward the end of its reign, the Sun will become a red giant, puffing up like a post-retirement running back or a pre-retirement sumo wrestler. It will dwarf its younger self and sterilize the inner solar system while totally engulfing Mercury, Venus, and maybe […]